…Well, how’m I doing ?…
Putting myself in your shoes , I’d say I was doing pretty well.
I’m half way to having created a different world
I’ve hopefully, along with the support of talented others, inspired a sense of better self discipline , of a more demanding personal work-ethic, and maybe, just maybe? opened a few sleepier eyes to the prospect of a brighter peeformance tomorrow .
I’ve put myself out there for you to see – for you to comment on , favourably or otherwise !!
I’ve let you see that I make mistakes but I always try to turn them into triumphs
I’ve sweated , oh how I’ve sweated …I’ve sweated so much in our hot drama space , that my T-shirt turned from fuschia to raspberry
I’ve pushed through personal fatigue , frustration , annoyance and despair
I’ve laughed – sometimes , and even felt a bit like crying -when I considered – for an awful moment – that this set may just be my stage director’s nemesis !!!
But then – I stopped – and looked at this seemingly problematic stage – and thought – there is nothing you cannot ever do , when your imagination has real passion and you have no fear of “just making original theatre ” – giving yourself the wings to fly and achieve greatness , where once you maybe doubted …
I’ve been countless times “against the creative brick wall” with “ideas” , but climbed it anyway , and found a different creative way out of the small black box we call our panto-home stage .
I’ve looked hard at those I work beside , and tried to be “them” in equal personality measure
I’ve put my own feelings and needs ( of yes , being liked ) to one side – for the good of the teams , for the good of better stage play , for the good of this show
I’ve taken on the “drama egos” that are easy to overlook for the sake of peace and keeping popular ; because I learnt a long time ago , that to let go control of your “art or talent ” for fear of upsetting a “few” egos (who probably will not ever get you or it anyway) – is honestly a waste of your time.
I’ve learned to look with better eyes – to understand that having respect is far better than being “liked” in any drama space – because “like” keeps you “small” , but “respect” gives you the status of a bigger Artisitc world .
And if I’m honest , where it always matters most for me – is that I’d say that people “respect my performance” as a director here , more than they “like me” in the room …and that’s okay , because that’s my job as Artistic Director of this company of YOUTH. As the Panto leader I need to be.
Outside the space ?
I am different – of course I am different , but I don’t need to drag “my outside self” into this process ,to make me feel secure , or more importantly to make this panto – the success I know it can be.
Yes ….if I was asking “my director” how I’m doing? – I think they’d confidently say …I’m doing pretty well.
Amd if he or she went on to ask – Is there anything I can still do …?
I’d think and then I’d reply
<< Bien sur >>
Because , isn’t there always something “more to give” to any thing …?
…and if we really think about it
…when can we , in creative terms , ever say – ” I’ve done enough”
“Enough” is a greyish word to any creative type ! Enough is apathy and a bit of a foggy end.
So I know I still have more to do , more to give , more to create in this project ….
But how about you ?
I think you’ve reached the point in this drama process , where you need to stop looking “to me” as your director for the answers to this personal panto-stage riddle of yours.
Be a bit braver ?
Try to “step out” , in your own sense , of positive action more …
I think , you need to look back at your self , for a measure of your current success – this far !
How changed are you from the way you would access PACE – in a more normal time ?
If a Studio Time member , it will be easier now to see the leap that has to be made to ” get PACE PANTO “and do it well.
It all seems like a fun idea at the time . The auditioning that is…I mean , everyone has to do PANTO in PACE – don’t they , isn’t that what everyone says ?
But it’s one thing getting into the “celebrated” cast …but a whole different ” performance make up ” is needed being part of it.
I suppose , at this point , I would usually direct my blog towards a more “studio time” mind set – ones who need the confidence to act – and I’d maybe try to inspire them , to see beyond fheir personal barriers, to have more self believe , probably using that old drama cliche – “just go for it”
But not today …no…not today.
Today is about those …who boldly go , where few ever , or will ever “go” in PACE.
It’s about the unsung heroes , the BEST already .
The BEST always get a bad rep in PACE.
Misguidedly, by the jealous and envious …who don’t really understand what it takes to be this disciplined and focused in PACE – the sacrifices they often have to face in pursuing better performance goals , the emotional choices they have to make that others won’t.
Theirs is “a road less travelled”, in ways that can only be imagined , when you are on it
They enter the room now with one main goal – THE STAGE
They are “present” in the room, with but one singular , unique personality – THEMSELF
They see every space that opens up , creatively before them, as – AN OPPORTUNITY , EXPLORATION , DISCOVERY
They crave – CHALLENGE
They breathe – HARDER EFFORT
They want it – TOUGH
Because “tough” brings out – the RIGHT STUFF , THE LION ROAR
They work – SOLELY for EACH OTHER
They are the stuff ” PACE DREAMS are made on…”
So it does trouble me , to hear that any of ” our best ” are feeling sad , in Pantoland
… because they just don’t think they are good enough .
Because maybe recently I am not telling them they are, but always seeming to give encouraging comments to less experienced others around them.
And that is 100% my fault
I am failing them as their director , in that respect .
I’m very good, with an end of rehearsal “line of people” who are forever looking “for answers” from me – answers they now have to start to come up with themselves
But I’m not doing enough obviously , to ensure those who “answered” their own “PACE calling” a while back – feel safe in this current drama space.
You see :
I assume you know ” how great you are already ”
I believe maybe misguidedly , that you understand that your action here , is second to none
That , as you better show , you forever more dynamically grow …
But why should you? Why should you be any different in terms of what you “need”, as the cast of 70 or so , others who are still but half of your potential?
Why should you not feel as cared for in the space , even at the top of your perfomance delivery?
In short , it all comes down to TRUST
Trust me , that when a stage is filled with beautiful flowers, I don’t always need to garden !
I can rest and just enjoy my roses for a while – maybe in another ” different acting ” project setting , I might want to get my gloves on again and get rooting you better , but here in this “Rosy” woodland creative space , it gives me such artistic pleasure to just watch : what I once cultivated, so carefully , what I weeded, pruned , plucked and resowed.
What I too “protected” in your “budding” end of rehearsal lines , when you looked to me for the answers to questions you were too afraid , or too lazy to answer for yourself.
What I always saw , even though you were sometimes buried under a blanket of “snow business” but “the outside”.
I can just relax more now and breathe in the sweet smell of your performance success!
Trust me that ” no praise ” in YOUR CASE , is ” the BEST PRAISE of all” , because I’m saying it – deeper in my heart-
” where it really matters ”
But to answer you here , in case , you still wanted to ask :
Here’s to the – best of the best :
AMY GALLAGHER, GORGIO MANZI , REBECCA MORROW, MIA DRUCE
The new-found starlight in :
ROSS CUMMING, LUCY DEEHAN and IONA CAMPBELL
The up-and-coming brighter stage light of :
DANIEL MEEHAN , YASMIN JOSE , PATRICK DOHERTY
The “just sheer Brilliance ” of :
ADAM CABUK , CARLA MCPHERSON, ERIN NIVEN, IAN MCLEAN , GARTH FINCH , NEVE FERGUSON , ELEANOR FARRELLY , RACHEL GUTHRIE and of course MISS ABBY MCCANN
Here’s to you all today – you truly wonderful SPIRES ROSES , on this your panto stage , that are mending and making my
dreams for “sleeping beauty” come true
But ! Before “all ofher cast “- switch off – ” feeling sad ” at not being mentioned , at feeling huffy and second placed , or moved to the back of imagined lines at these more personal mentions
Understand that “these roses” in all their shapes and forms , were once like you. But who decided to change, to act differently.
Who have since been through very difficult , challenging and quite emotional PACE projects , that made them face more sensitive questions about themselves , that they had to slowly find their necessary answer to, to get better, in this their passion.
Just as a ROSE from “seed to bud” takes a year to grow , so prize roses can often take 4/5 better Spires THEATRE projects ( out with panto ) to fully establish their mark of visible quality .
A “couple of pantos” under your PACE belt, will help you feel a bit more connected to things , a bit more confident in your PACE group
…but an intense creative theatre project with “thinking” cultural other demands , will be the real thing to bring out your truer stage pedigree.
Don’t forget that …when you “think” you want this journey , because maybe don’t want it, in the same way? It’s not all about what you think you’ll get – but how you’ll get it.
All VOYAGE people should understand – this Voyage selection isn’t a guaranteed ticket into next year’s big PACE league.
You’ve all , to varying degrees, got a long long long way to go.
I have cast the net “very wide” in grouping you , as I always do , to ensure any “outside” odds make it through .
I naturally look to colour groups for potential , but very often , the ones who go on and Into Odyseeey projects , or even into any more challenging SPIRES THEATRE work , are the ones who have something “else” to offer , something other than ticking perceived VOYAGE boxes or imagined “Mhairi likes” or just trying to find out , how to be the number 4, 5 or seeming golden 6 as their answer.
It was hard enough to explain to you , that what I’m actually looking for , isn’t really very hard at all , it’s already there , waiting to find its way out – naturally.
So – stop trying to impress me , start to GET me , and start impressing yourself with your more respectable personal performance in this project.
…and maybe , just maybe:
Something will shift for me
Somewhere under my rib cage , just left of my ” remote ” heart – where PACE greatness , really matters
And it will be “theatre logical” we continue our stage partnership , for as long as you want to bloom and edelweiss grow …
In the meantime for this ENSEMBLE cast – from VILLAGER 13 right through to POM
What can you still give to SLEEPING BEAUTY 2015???
It’s never to late to turn yourself round , face a better direction and change in the moment ?
As we are all about “banners and bunting” – I want you to write your ” what I have left to give ” meassge – to this entire cast- on a TRANGLE shaped piece of paper and bring it to rehearsals by Thursday/ FRIDAY this week .
We’ll hang them round the walls of our SPIRES 1 Home
As we run act 1 on Saturday , a frame of reference posted around us , will conjure the final fairy “blessing” ( Bienfait ) we need , to ensure this year – once again …
PACE PANTO is Magic !!!